7 Self-Love Habits Every Woman Needs

Published February 11, 2021 by Sheila Anne Murray

I keep hearing about how hard 2020 was and, though I agree, I also acknowledge that it’s still hard for so many. We are still in a pandemic and there are still people grieving, hustling, and trying to right their wobbling ship daily. With that in mind, I was considering what has helped my own resilience throughout the ups and downs of the past.  These habits stretch beyond “typical” self-care acts — they invite you to commit to radical self-love by way of exploration and self-understanding.

If I can practice these things, I know you can too. I’m looking forward to hearing how they enhance your life and help you to love yourself more deeply.

1. Let go of past expectations

Are you judging yourself based on where a younger version of you thought you might be? I lost my mother in 2018. It was quite sudden, and I hadn’t planned what my life would look like without her. When she died, I had to release a lot of the expectations I had for my future, but with that I gained new ideas, new visions, and new perspectives. I have learned over the years that in not getting attached to past expectations of who I was to become, I am able to stretch my wings, dream bigger, and live with more peace.

If you thought you wanted to be in fashion design when you were younger, and now you work at a marketing agency, there’s nothing “wrong” if you are happy!  You can be proud of the new route you’re on while being intentional about what you want next!  If you imagined yourself married with kids by this time and you’re still flying solo, honor yourself for being on a different path and don’t discount your unique experiences and hard work!

What past expectations are holding you back or infusing self-judgement into your current life? How could letting go of one expectation help you feel more self-love?

2. Instead of turning away from fears, explore them

Often our fears show us what we want most deeply and are afraid to speak into existence. On the other side of fear, though, could be freedom and thriving at your full potential. When I quit my corporate job and decided to travel the world with my boyfriend for an undetermined amount of time, fear was at my doorstep. I opened the door to fear just enough to see what was really going on and, in doing so, I saw that fear was there to remind me that this was uncharted territory. Well of course it was! Fear was wooing me back into the comfort zone. This realization helped launch me into the plan with even more enthusiasm.

As an act of self-love, explore your fears instead of turning away from them. What fear could you explore today?

3. Become clear on who you are and what you stand for

An ultimate self-love habit is living fully in your power, unapologetically you. This is something that I dive into more deeply with my 1:1 Root to Rise clients because knowing who you are sets the foundation for every future decision, big or small. By taking the time to get clear on who you are, you are saving yourself time and energy that you might otherwise exhaust to travel down roads that don’t align with your core values or passion. Furthermore, building self-awareness makes you feel more confident, calm, and prepared to make changes in your life.

What makes you special? What values do you hold that you’re proud of?

4. Adopt your own self care rituals

If you haven’t had luck with the rituals that you see mentors, influencers, or C-suite professionals practicing, it’s time to turn inward! One of the best things you can do for yourself is listen in to your own internal cues — what does your body need in the morning? What do you need to wind down at night? Each individual has their own flow of energy, inspiration, and motivation. You are unique and your rituals can be too! Don’t be afraid to test out different rituals (say journalling, bubble baths, slow walking, slapping on a face mask between to-dos) and simply explore how they work for you and the life you’re curating.

What is one self-care ritual you could integrate today? What is one thing that’s not working for you that you could release?

5. Stop comparing yourself to others 

Old me would have said — pshhh easier said than done! — but if you resist this one you are doing yourself a great disservice. Self-love means owning your unique path, and sticking to it with the same drive you have for getting tasks completed. When you are able to live without comparison, not only do you offer yourself freedom, you end up lifting up those around you more naturally. 

When you feel yourself shifting into a comparison mindset, tug yourself back and focus on yourself, your energy, and your journey. Practice this refocusing technique and you’ll discover the shift to a more carefree, joyful, and loving life.

Next time you feel yourself comparing, what can you say to yourself to recenter in self-love?

6. Allow yourself to make mistakes and celebrate when you do so without putting yourself down

I will preface this piece by saying that I am sharing this with you as a fellow perfectionist. Failure and mistake-making has always been a scary concept for me, but I’ve discovered that this piece in particular helps me to build resilience, experience less stress, and lead others more confidently. 

Allowing yourself to make mistakes is allowing yourself to be human and learn. There may be a voice in your head telling you that everything you do has to be perfect and that failure is not an option. Believe it or not, there is another voice in your head that is pleading for you to leap outside of your comfort zone, take some risks, and love yourself for making mistakes. Which voice will you allow to come through today? Tomorrow? The rest of the year?

How can you honor your mistakes and see them as stepping stones instead of setbacks?

7. Practice trusting your intuition

Sometimes clients I work with will ask for support on strengthening their intuition, because they know that doing so will help them confidently follow the path they desire. The first thing we work on is simply starting to listen more closely. Our intuition is speaking to us all the time throughout the day but if you have an endless buzz in your head it’s only to be expected that your intuition has been hushed. By starting to pause and listen to what our gut is saying before let’s say, running off to ask 5 friends or Google your answer, you are leaning more fully into your deep wisdom and thereby loving your full self more deeply.

It’s more common than you might think for people to doubt themselves and their ability to make decisions. Yet, every time that you make a decision aligned with your intuition or gut reaction, you’re building your intuitive muscle and self-trust.

How can you lend an ear to your intuition on the day-to-day?

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Self-love does not transform overnight but rather is a foundation that we continue to strengthen, mold, and build off. Consider for a moment how much you’ve already grown in your commitment to love yourself, feel good, and grow through experiences. 

If this article resonates with you and you would like to step into a powerful 75 minute event focused entirely on self love and igniting your inner spark, you simply must join us at the Self Love First Love workshop. Grab your spot right here!

Note to self - I love me